


2 Broke Girls

by tsundere_silk



Category: 2 Broke Girls, Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: 2 Broke Girls - Freeform, Avengers - Freeform, Centric, Crack Fic, Crossover, F/M, Feels, Humor, Max Black - Freeform, and then suddenly, and uh, black widow is awesome, but also kind of hates her, feels everywhere, hey bucky, is that the hulk, max has a crush on natasha, you dont look so well
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-14
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-17 08:16:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2302826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsundere_silk/pseuds/tsundere_silk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[ UPDATE: EACH CHAPTER NOW HAS GIFS BECAUSE I HAVE NO LIFE. ]<br/>- - - <br/>"Is that Captain America?!"<br/><br/>"Captain who?" Max replied indifferently, writing the word 'cheeseburger' underneath her lewd picture of a mans genitals and then flipped the notepad over to  show her masterpiece to Caroline.</p><p>Caroline looked absolutely scandalized by the picture, "Oh my God-- do you not know who Captain America is?"<br/><br/>"Well, my mom couldn't afford a T.V growing up. Or a roof. Or an abortion." Max shrugged off Caroline's excitement.<br/><br/>"Or a history book!" Caroline was nearly shouting as Max cashed his order in. "Max-- erase that dick from his order!!"</p><p>Steve rested his face in his palm, groaning while he burned with embarrassment as he could hear the two waitresses whispers clearly from across the diner.<br/>- - - - - -<br/>In which, the Avengers stumble upon 2 Broke Girls who work in the Williamsburg Diner. Crack fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Joint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain America wants a burger. Max wants a break.

 . . .

Chapter One

* * *

The Joint

. . .

"Hi, my name is right here--"

Steve watched, a little taken back by how boldly the pretty brunette waitress with the plump ruby-red lips approached him, jabbing at her nametag with her pen. She seemed distracted, as if he were the last person she wanted to bother herself with, which was confusing considering she was the _waitress_. 

Steve was thrown off by how fast she was speaking, and he was trying his best not to gaze at the long revealing V in her waitress uniform, the first two buttons left undone to expose the soft creamy skin.

He, like any gentleman would, managed to comprehend that her name read "Max" on her name tag before lifting his gaze back up to meet her eyes.

"--I'll get you a glass of water and let you look through the menu. And really, take your time, 'cus I'm gifting myself to a ten minute break." Max spoke fast and with confidence, her tone deadpanned with a hint of mischief.

Steve furrowed his eyebrows, before handing her back the plastic menu she had thrusted towards him. "Just a cheeseburger will be fine."

Max popped her white peppermint gum in a bubble, her hand on her hip as she frowned at him, before pulling out her notepad to pretend she was writing down his order.

"Cheeseburger, got it." She drew a picture of a dick with a hairy set of balls.

Steve folded his hands against the table, looking downright exhausted. Before Max could depart, he made sure to tell her in a warm, but stern tone, "And I'd like some hot coffee if you could, ma'am."

Max frowned as she took the menu from his hands, "Sure thing," She forced a smile, as if mockingly, and turned around with a big huff as she marched over to Caroline, scrunching her face together as she silently mimicked the young man's 'ma'am'.

Caroline, her co-worker slash business partner slash roommate, grabbed a hold of Max's shoulders and quickly steered her to the corner behind the register.

"Is that Captain America?!"

"Captain who?" Max replied indifferently, writing the word 'cheeseburger' underneath her lewd picture of a mans genitals and then flipped the notepad over to show her masterpiece to Caroline.

Caroline looked absolutely scandalized by the picture, "Oh my God-- do you not know who Captain America is?"

"Well, my mom couldn't afford a T.V growing up. Or a roof. Or an abortion." Max shrugged off Caroline's excitement.

"Or a history book!" Caroline was nearly shouting as Max cashed his order in. "Max-- erase that dick from his order!!"

Steve rested his face in his palm, groaning while he burned with embarrassment as he could hear the two waitresses whispers clearly from across the diner. He knew it would not make the situation any better if he turned around and politely explained to the women that 'dicks' were not a polite table subject. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling slightly out of place in the diner. 

"Anyways," Max said as she filled a mug up with hot coffee and dumped a creamer into it. "I'm gonna take my ten and go finish that joint with Earl. Hopefully he hasn't started without me."

"Order up." Oleg placed a beautiful looking tomato lettuce and onion burger on the counter for Max to take. "Made extra special, for Captain America."

"God damnit--!" She cursed as she took a hold of his plate angrily. Even their chef Oleg knew who this Captain America dude was, and he wasn't even from America!

"Oh, and Earl's already in the freezer with the joint. I just came out from there," Oleg leaned against the window sill that connected the kitchen and diner. "Shit's good."

Max walked the delicious looking cheeseburger over to the dude all of her coworkers were referring to as 'Captain'. She placed his order along with a hot cup of coffee on his table and unceremoniously wiped her hands on her red apron. "Here you go, man." Max had less energy than she had before, crestfallen that Earl had finished his joint without her.

"You better hurry Max, if you go in there now I'm sure you can get contact high," Earl was grinning lazily as he walked back over to his chair next to the entrance so he can finish cashing in checks and greeting customers.

Max grinned and pulled a rag out of her apron, wiping her hands off as she sent a cheeky grin to Steve, completely oblivious of the fact he was aware of every conversation word that was coming out of their mouths.

"I'll be going on my ten minute break now," She told him with a grin, hand propped on her hip. "I got a meat cooler thats callin' my name."

Steve finished his meal soon after that. Just one burger was fine, since he was still mourning the loss (er-- return?) of his friend and couldn't stomach much more to eat. Really he had just visited the diner in Brooklyn for a small reminiscent of his past, and was surprised and a bit overwhelmed that the diner he frequented in his past life, was still here standing strong when he woke up seventy years later.

Though, of course, the company is a lot different now then it was back then. And the prices are much more different. But the interior looked the same.

He payed and left the waitress a small tip.

Steve wasn't sure if he'd be returning anytime soon.

But he'd be damned if those still weren't the best burgers he's ever tasted.


	2. Tony Who?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caroline isn't a very good teacher. Max needs to do more research.

  
  
  


 

**Chapter Two**

* * *

_Tony Who?_

. . .

 

"Hi, my name is Max 'cause the hospital said my mom couldn't name me 'oops'."

Max shifted her weight to the side of her hip, and scanned her customers at her table with her usual narrowed eyes, and obviously forced pepped up tone. "What can I get you guys today?"

Steve recognized Max first. Honestly, he was rather surprised to see she managed to keep her job for this long now, two months later. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat next to Tony, feeling uncomfortable under her criticizing scowl.

Normally, Clint's hawk like gaze, he would of caught Steve's uncomfortable manner any day, but apparently, the white and yellow plastic menu held his attention more than his teammate next to him. The menu had a few options that varied between burgers, pastas, and sandwiches, and a few soups for appetizers, but there wasn't too much to choose from. 

Tony, however, was fortunate enough to be seated next to Steve in the red booth, and thus he noticed as the Captain shifted awkwardly in his seat when the waitress approached, abundantly avoiding her eye contact. 

Tony lifted an amused eyebrow, "What crawled up your underwear, Cap?"

Steve turned to shoot a dirty glare at Tony, but didn't get the chance to form a reply before the chestnut hair colored waitress cut them off.

You see, now after the incident two months ago with the whole 'Meeting-Captain-America' and 'Drawing-a-dick-on-his-order' thing, Caroline took Max straight to the museum to give Max a little history lesson on Hydra, Red Skull, and America's iCon, Captain America.

So, this time, Max was able to recognize that buff body, bright blond hair, and those cheekbones anywhere. Upon recognizing him, she immediately turned her back on the group of men and cursed, hightailing it over to where Earl was sitting while trying her best to say in a hushed whisper, 

"Oh shit, Earl, undercover feds! Hide the stash, hide the stash--!!"

Tony pulled off his sunglasses, looking bewildered and obnoxiously offended. Clint set his menu down to raise an eyebrow at Steve, who groaned and shook his head. He was just as confused as they were, except everything about this new century confused him. People were much more bold now, saying what was on their mind and much more bold about private matters. A lot of the time, he had a hard time keeping up. 

In the end, four burgers were placed on the table (two for the captain, because one just did not quite cut it last time) and Tony and Clint both agreed, through a mouthful of food that these were indeed the best burgers they had tasted.

They paid and left, but not before Tony made a comment to the busty brunette who stood (rather then serving their other customers) next to her blond friend, "Oh, and I am so _not_ undercover, girlie. Gotta stash of my own, in fact I keep it around for when my buddy Hulks out."

Max pressed her lips together in appreciation, hands on her hips and she gave the man ("Who knew he'd end up being Iron Man?" Max cried out after being scolded by Caroline, who decided she was going to be more thorough with her research this time as she pointed to various articles on her laptop) a begrudging smile of approval.

Tony slipped the girls a bill from his wallet and pulled on his sunglasses, "Delicious burger, ladies." Before turning and leaving to return to the van.

"He gave us twenty dollars!" Max cried when she examined the bill. "I can't remember the last time I held a twenty in my hand!" She paused before remembering,"Oh wait.. 6th grade Ronnie said he'd give me ten bucks if I touch his balls. I kicked both of them and took all his money." She then beamed back down at the bill. "Awesome, same amount, less effort!"

Caroline shook her head trying not to get sidetracked by Max's story.

"Was that Tony Stark--?"

"Tony Who?"

"--playboy billionaire?!" Caroline was in her own world now, recalling all the parties she went to that Tony was supposed-to-but-didn't show up at.

Oleg perched himself against the window sill. "Did Iron Man just compliment my food?"

"WHAT!!"

In which, Max nearly drops the food due to her frustration that even Oleg knew who Iron Man was, before her.


	3. Just Take The Wallet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers are making a mess in the diner. Max takes Iron Man's money.

  
 

 

**. . .**

**Chapter Three**

* * *

  _Just Take the Wallet_

_. . ._

 

"Why isn't anyone buying any cupcakes?"

Caroline's face was crestfallen as she looked at the glass case filled with cupcakes disappointingly.

Max was setting plates of food down for two hipster boys, biting her tongue in order to refrain from criticizing them. The diner was full and she hated having lingering customers, so she was pulling out the plates from the kitchen quickly. She stalked back over to Caroline, who was teary-eyed staring at Max's Homemade Cupcakes.

"Why am I the only one working?" She returned Caroline's question with a question of her own.

Caroline was ready to return that with a retort of her own, but her jaw dropped, lips forming the 'O' orgasming face she made whenever she saw something that incredibly shocked her. Max turned to look at the door to see who entered that caused Caroline's eyes to widen and jaw to drop, but all she saw was Captain America and Iron Man ( _"the feds!" she insisted, but Caroline was having none of that_ ) accompanied by Clint, whom she'd seen in the diner before, and Thor, who was glancing around the tiny Midgardian feeding chambers with a cheerful glint in his eye. 

"The-the-the--" Caroline was trying to speak, but was fangirling to hard from seeing four Avengers walk into the diner. Max shot her a stern look and steered her attention away from the door.

"The-the-the," Max mocked her mercilessly, "The diner is getting full. Go do your tables." She would have none of that fangirling bullshit.

Caroline nodded her head mutely, "Okay, then I'll just go--" She took a step towards the superhero hotties. Max grabbed her by the shoulders and steered her the opposite direction.

"--Do your own customers?" Max cut her off with a smirk. "Sorry ' _guuurl'_ , but they're in my section." Max waved an arm to the group who was seating themselves.

The blond ex billionaire let out a cry of protest, but Max was stalking off to her tables. She made eye contact with Steve, who sat facing her this time, and a small smile darted across her lips when she saw that, he was actually pretty hot for an undercover fed.

Max was snapped back from her daze when she heard literal snapping, one of the two hipster boys from earlier was snapping to get her attention. Max hit a ninety degree angle and headed straight for the boys.

"Hello, waitress..., dude.." The hipster had on a tan trenchcoat with a gray scarf and beanie. Max stuffed her hands in the pocket of her apron and spoke with surprising sincerity.

"Hi, what can I get ya?"

"I've been waiting for a refill for--"

Not soon after three words spilled his lips, Max snapped in his face two times and cut him off. "Is that annoying?"

She snapped a few more times in his face, "Is that obnoxious and rude?"

Steve, who could hear the exchange from his seat, was surprised by how much times have changed while he was frozen.

Usually, in a situation like this, he was ready to save the dame. At least, that's what Bucky had told him once upon a time, before he even thought to wish for things like the super serum, when all Bucky and Steve had to eat was beans and soup.

Bucky was going on a date with a real rich gal, and it turned out she was taking him to the brand new burger bar that just opened recently. Steve always wished he could try a burger, and cherished Bucky's descriptive retell of it's taste. Bucky told him of the date, and how he really gave it to this man in the diner who had spoken to the waitress out of terms, and ended up getting kicked from the bar (and ultimately dumped by his date).

"That girl was a real looker, Steve-o. Hellova dame."

"Your date?"

"Nah. The waitress."

 

However, it seemed that Max had it all under control. Steve could only marvel in silence and listen.

"Damn, she really burned you buddy." The second hipster smirked. Max shook her head, wanting absolutely none of his input on the matter.

"No, hipster. Do not think we are on the same team." She snapped in his face as well, before withdrawing. "I wear knit hats when it's cold _out_ , you wear knit hats because of Cold _play_."

Tony let out a snort. Steve had no idea what she was going on about, but the way she said it, it sounded like it hurt.

"And finally, you think this is the sound that gets you service?" Max snapped in the hipsters face a few times before placing her hands on her hips. "I think it's the sound that makes my vagina dry."

She took his cup of coffee that he was crying so hard about, and headed over to the table filled with undercover feds.

"Sup, dudes."

Both Tony and Steve wanted burgers. Clint changed his mind to pasta, and Thor ordered just about everything on the menu.

During their meal, the group seemed to be getting into a rather heated discussion. Thor was arguing with Tony, speaking not-so-quietly (lets face it, he was shouting) about some evil scientist who apparently copied some of Tony's work and used the Copy-Cat-Iron-Man against them.

Max was heading over to pick up Thor's empty plates, but stopped dead in her tracks when a cup smashed right in front of her feet due to big tall Goldie Locks throwing it in his tantrum.

"Oh hell no." Max froze and gave the group the scariest look she could muster.

Before Max could go off on a tantrum, Tony, who was arms reach from his seat, simply handed her a twenty dollar bill. "For your trouble."

She took the bill with a frown at her face.

Apparently, the ( _"Midgardian scientist!"_ ) that got Thor so riled up just so conveniently popped up on the news channel, causing Thor to chuck his plate at the T.V, breaking both the dish and the T.V.

Steve had his face in his palm from embarrassment (although he could understand Thor's fury), while Clint edged away from next to Thor with disapproval. "Someone calm the princess down." He snapped, not helping the situation a bit.

Tony groaned, and simply handed Max his entire wallet. "Here. Just take it."

"Well, this is the first time someones ever given me their wallet willingly." Max didn't need to be told twice. Before Max could find a way to bully a few extra bucks out of the billionaire playboy, Caroline came along carrying a few cupcakes.

She was in full pretend-not-to-be-a-desperate-salesperson mode. "Mr. Iron Man, Captain America.." She shot a shaky smile and nod to Clint, and turned to Thor. "..and Thor, I respect you guys so much after the incident in New York--"

"--What the hell happened in New York?" Clearly, Max was the only person out of town when the Chitauri attacked.

"Yeah, what did happen in New York?" Tony said in a tone of disbelief, obviously mocking Max.

Caroline shot Max a sharp look, but Max looked more interested in listening to Caroline grovel at the undercover feds feet. She stood next to the table with her arms crossed, Iron Man's wallet tucked neatly into her apron.

"--Perhaps," Caroline raised her voice to tune out Max's words and raised the tray of cupcakes towards Thor. "If I give you these cupcakes, you'll stop breaking things in the diner."

"What are these 'cupcakes' you speak of?" Thor bellowed.

It doesn't take long before all the cupcakes are finished, split between the group of of insanely strong men so each superhero gets one, although Thor somehow snagged three. By the end of the night, Tony was broke, Clint was full, Thor was happy upon learning a new Midgardian dessert, and Steve was ready to call it a night.

This time around, it was Steve who hung back after his comrades exited the diner. Max was in the process of picking up their plates, Caroline behind her with a brook and dustpan cleaning up Thor's shattered mess.

Max almost didn't notice Steve's reluctant hovering behind her, and when she did she had three plates balanced on both arms. She looked at him over her shoulder, eyebrow lifted. "Yes?" Her tone was dripping curiosity.

"I-- uh," He was already stumbling over his words, great start Steve, really. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for my pal's behavior."

"Yeah, well, I guess when you save the world a few times, you start to feel like you can do whatever the hell you want." Max had a friendly grin on her face as she looked at him while balancing several plates on her body. "But no really, it's fine as long as you don't arrest me for stealing Iron Man's wallet."

Steve had an amused smile on his face, "I don't quite arrest people, ma'am."

Max quirked an eyebrow at this, her facial expression obviously showing she didn't believe him. "You don't?"

"Well.. only the real bad guys."

Done mingling around, and ready to finish clearing tables, Max looked at Steve from over her shoulder with a playful smile as she headed back towards the kitchen, "That's why I'm worried."

Max entered the kitchen and placed the dishes in the sink. She instantly fished out Tony-Freaking-Starks wallet to check and see how much money he'd given them.

"Oh my gosh!"

It was no surprise Caroline came gushing in, dustpan in her hand as she let out her annoying girly squeal. "I totally just witness all of that!"

"Oh?" Max didn't seem interested, too busy occupied counting fifties.

"You and Captain America! Don't be shy, admit it, you totally have a thing for him--" Caroline stopped in her tracks. "Is that Tony Stark's wallet?"

Max flashed Caroline ten fifties. "Yee-buddy."

"I'd recognize that wallet brand anywhere!" Caroline marched over to snatch the wallet and examine it's interior. "My dad had one just like this! It was $20,000 at least!"

"No way! We're totally selling it on e-bay!"

"I totally witnessed all of that between you and the Captain." Oleg perched himself against the counter, speaking in his usual lazy tone. "You are so in those."

"!!!" Both Max and Caroline looked alarmed, before shaking their heads and stalking back off into the diner.


	4. China Dishes Are Not Weapons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max's hands are sore. Bucky is a little disoriented.

 

**. . .**

**Chapter Four**

* * *

  _China Dishes are NOT Weapons_

_. . ._

 

Max massaged her exhausted hand, fingers digging into her left palm as she sat in an empty booth, taking what was probably her fifth break during her twelve hour shift. Thankfully she’d be closing in a few hours, it was only 12am and she doubted Earl would want to spend another two hours cashing in checks, so she was sure he was going to be closing the diner down early today.

So, Max sat in the booth massaging her hand as she waited for the rest of the diners to finish their meals. This included Mr. Captain America himself, who was sitting at the counter with a half empty cup of coffee ( _that Max figures she should really be refilling right about now, but she was sore and lazy and he’s already had six cups!_ ) leafing through some papers looking as if he were desperately searching for something.

Max tried to pretend she didn’t notice how he kept stealing glances in her direction. She figured he probably wanted a refill, or to order _another_ item from the menu (he’d been sitting there for three hours and every thirty minutes it was like he needed to be refueled once again!!) but after one last sneaky glance, Max let out a huge sigh and stood up from the booth to go grab the coffee pot from behind the counter to refill his mug.

She refilled his cup with hot coffee, startling Steve. He was surprised that she approached him, because honestly with how often he stopped by the diner, that pretty little waitress seemed to snub him for reasons Steve couldn't understand, and if he was being quite honest, she was pretty intimidating. Not that that had stopped him from stealing glances at her. Her plump lips looked hypnotizing pressed into that tight frown, her discomfort clear as she massaged her palms.  
  
She must of felt his gaze on her back, because she let out a heavy sigh and disappeared behind the counter into the kitchen, returning with a coffee pot to pour into his empty mug. Steve cleared his throat, silently thanking God that his voice didn't come out as quickly as his heart was beating. "That's alright," He spoke once she finished pouring his last cup. Hell, he had enough coffee for the day, and honestly it didn't help him out the least bit.  
  
Max quirked an eyebrow at him with her expression that made him feel like she was questioning his whole existence. She placed the mug on the tabletop next to him so he could simply refill the fuel whenever he wanted. Much to Steves surprise, Max plopped into the stool next to him, propping her foot on the stools bar so she could rest her elbow on her knee, and then proceeded to roughly knead her palm.  
  
"Whatcha been lookin at for the past three hours?" Max asked off hand-idly, popping her mint gum and kneading her fingers deeper into her palm. Steves jaw hung slack for only a few seconds before he quickly recollected himself from the shock. He'd assumed the waitress had deemed him a nuisance, considering her sarcastic responses to his innocent questions about the menu, or how she shut him down with a witty remark whenever he tried to be kind. He mostly assumed it was because how freaked out he had been when she found out he was a 'fed.. which he certainly was not. At least he didn't think he was.  
  
Steve discreetly tucked his scattered papers into a neat pile, even though Max didn't seem the least bit interested in nosing around through whatever it was he was reading. Steve was no good with women, but he could tell Max was just trying to make conversation-- something she had never done with him during the past five months that he pops in and out of the diner. Plus, he was sure explaining to the pretty brunette civilian waitress with a pair of the plumpest ruby lips he's seen in his lifetime (and that's saying a _lot_ ) that he was currently searching through reports and sightings Tony had faxed him on the whereabouts of his friend ( _formally known as the Winter Soldier, who's killed more then enough innocent people to be considered a maniac)_ would not be his ideal first conversation with the dame he was currently doting on.   
  
Steve cleared his throat once again as he organized his papers. Max responded before he could, still kneading her fingers into her palm without sparing him a second glance.  
  
"Classified?" She asked in a bored tone. "Good, because I didn't care that much. Unless you've got something on me in there."  
  
Steve was surprised by the chuckle that rumbled in the back of his throat by her comment. _'If you were in one of these documents.. I would of  dragged you back to the tower for questioning by now._ ' He mused to himself silently. However, talking about work was the last thing he wanted to do with the beautiful dame in front of him. Steve pushed the papers aside for the first time in hours ( _"Weeks!" If you asked Tony Stark)_ and turned his attention to Max, who was concentrating more on her massage then himself.  
  
"Rough night?" Steve changed the subject to a topic more safer, herself.  
  
Max decided not to mention that she could be asking him the same question, since he was the one who had been sitting there for what felt like to her her whole shift, drinking coffee and tearing himself up about whatever it was he had read in those documents.  
  
Instead, she gave him a lopsided smile, "It's still going on. Since a few certain diners think that this place is a luxurious Starbucks."

Had it been a few months ago, Steve would of been lost on what a 'Starbucks' was, but after spending the past month hanging out with Tony on and off, Steve was more caught up on 21st century lingo then he really thought he'd ought to be.

Another boyish grin formed across his face at her offhand comment. He was beginning to realize that while the woman spoke with a rough, strong, I'll-Tear-Your-Throat-With-My-Claws-If-You-Say-The-Wrong-Thing tone, she hadn't been trying to insult him. In fact, he was beginning to find her sarcastic quips rather entertaining.

Steve's eyes dipped down to her fingers that were kneading into her aching palm, and then glanced back up to meet her eyes. He swallowed thickly at the sudden sigh that escaped from her nose, and suddenly he felt more hot and bothered then he should. "I, uh..-- I was just about to head out anyways." He took a long gulp from his hot coffee which caused Max to laugh.  
  
"Didn't look like it," She smirked. Steve chuckled along with her and shuffled his papers together, before hesitantly slowly his movements. His adams apple bobbed as he gulped, watching her face as she gently shut her eyes from the pleasure of kneading a specific knot in her hand, and Steve slowly lowered his papers, enchanted by the lovely face she was making. Max opened her eyes and blinked a few times as he sat back down next to her, and she looked at him expectantly.  
  
"The work, uh, must be hard on your hands." He added lamely once he realized he had been caught staring, and needed to come up with some excuse. Max cocked her head towards him and lifted an eyebrow, the smirk her lips twisted into promising him she had something mischievous in mind. Steve tried not to focus too hard on how Max suddenly scooted the tiniest bit closer to him, and he swallowed heavily again.  
  
"Nah," Max said with nonchalance, switching hands so she could now massage her neglected palm. She faced towards Steve a little bit more from next to him in the stool, and her red coated lips stretched into a smile. "Just been masturbating too much."  
  
Steve felt his face heat. Despite popular belief, Steve Rogers wasn't as much of an 'Apple-Pie-American-Guy' sweetheart that Tony had been spreading rumors about him about. However, talking so boldly about pleasuring herself with those same fingers that were kneading into her delicious milky skin only caused flashes of ideas to fill Steve's mind, and he almost had to remind himself that the brunette was sitting right next to him, and not dipping her hand down between her legs like he was currently imagining.  
  
Before Steve could comment, Max continued, making the situation in his pants only worst. "I mean, I have a few toys but those require batteries, and batteries require money. Plus, nothing gets me off like a little good ol' skin to skin contact."  
  
For someone who's reportedly saved the world on a few occasions, Captain America sure was easy to rile up. Max's grin grew wider as she watched him fidget, although the Captain did seem to be holding himself together better then she thought he would. She wanted to watch him squirm just a little bit more-- because really, what was more fun then making a _super soldier_ uncomfortable, and speechless?  
  
Lucky for Steve, one of the few last customers in the diner flagged Max down before she could tease him anymore, and she sent him a flirty smile along with a four wiggly finger wave, and went off to go finish her job.  
  
Steve swallowed thickly one last time before digging into his pocket and leaving the waitress a tip. He had to get of there fast, there was no way he could get anymore work done now that Max had him all hot and bothered. Hopefully by the time he reaches his apartment, he'd cool down a bit so he could finish searching for Bucky. He wanted to curse himself for getting distracted, if only for a few minutes, but he didn't regret chatting it up with the strange waitress.  
  
There was something about her that disturbed him, she was too bold and too 21st century for him, but when Steve remembered the way she smiled teasingly and caused an unexpected laugh to come from him, Steve decided that maybe she wasn't so bad.  


* * *

  
  
"Sorry, we're closed."  
  
Captain America had left an hour ago without a goodbye, taking away all of Max's fun but leaving a $20 tip. The last customers in the diner were heading out, and Earl and Oleg both took their leave just five minutes ago, leaving locking up the diner to Max.  
  
Max was clearing tables, silently seething that Caroline got to sleep in her new vagina bed while Max was stuck with closing duty, when suddenly the bell and rang signalling someone entering the diner. She called out to them that it was closed without looking over her shoulder, but after a few seconds of silence (meaning they didn't leave like she had asked) Max turned her head to see what their deal was.  
  
A scruffy looking man had entered, and he was looking around the diner as if he were searching for something. The hat and large coat that he wore gave Max the impression he wanted to be incognito, and Max highly doubted he was a celebrity. The point is, the man clearly gave the impression of _sketchy_. She froze and lifted a brown eyebrow, staring him down from next to the booth.  
  
"Did you hear me, pal? We're closed."  
  
"I remember.. this diner." His eyes seemed glazed over as he stared at the walls, examining the small dining area. "It looks.. different. Not how I remember it.. but, this is it. I've been here."  
  
Max pressed her lips together in a frown. Great, another weirdo. He was probably homeless. She slowly continued to gather the dirty dishes. If Max was intimidated, she didn't show it. However, when she picked up the heavy china plate, she silently wondered to herself how pissed Hans would be if she cracked his expensive China against the intruders head.  
  
"Yeah, well, this place has been the same since the 50's. I think it's safe to say, this diner clearly needs an update."  
  
"No.." Bucky squinted his eyes, as if trying desperately hard to remember something, but it slipped passed his mind once again. "I don't... I don't know."  
  
Riight.. he was making no sense. Max turned to face him, "Listen buddy, like I said, diners closed. Why don't you come back in the morning?" _When I'm_ not _working, and won't have to deal with you?_  
  
The stranger was staring at the walls once again, and suddenly he was clutching his head desperately, as if there were a loud ringing noise that were about to burst his eardrums. Bucky saw flashes, of the diner, a glamourous looking dame on his arm, and a beautiful waitress. Damn, if only he could remember her name.  
  
Another wave hit, and he remembered returning to his small apartment, a tiny, scrawny blond listening attentively as he retold details of his rich date, and how she dumped him after he stood up for the beautiful waitress, but he didn't care because he got to try a cheeseburger for the first time, and the kiss on the cheek the waitress prized him with was more then enough reward.  
  
During his struggle to remember such a simple memory, Bucky didn't realize he was shouting like a crazy man in pain, and clutching desperately to his head.  
  
And suddenly, everything went black.  
  
Max held onto the broken China plate as she watched the stranger crumble to the floor. Shit! He was totally freaking her out, and she panicked. Now she had to deal with an unconscious man in the diner, who probably wasn't even going to rob her, but instead actually needed genuine help.  
  
She sighed, knowing what she had to do. Tucking her arms under his armpits, Max proceeded to drag the unconscious (and hopefully not dead) man onto the subway.


	5. Gun Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caroline WOULD want to confess to the police.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES. AN UPDATE. I SUCK AND LEFT YOU GUYS WAITING FOR TOO LONG.  
> don't expect too much. I only got worst during the break.

 

. . .

**Chapter Five**

* * *

  _Gun Point_

. . . 

 

Max let out a heavy sigh as she finally made it into the door of her (not-so-quite-legally-owned) apartment. Lets just say, dragging an unconscious man ( _who she knocked out_ ) onto the subway and having to tell everyone he was drunk was not fun. Well, maybe it was a _little_ fun, but it was also exhausting, and Max was just glad to be home.

She kicked the door open once she had it unlocked, hearing a sleepy Caroline's yelp of surprise when the door slammed against the wall and woke her up. Max saw Caroline jump out of bed in her pajamas, already seething.

"What the hell, Max?!" Her eyes widened when she saw the unconscious man in Max's arms. "What the hell, Max!!!! I knew you'd kill somebody someday, but I didn't think you'd try hiding the body in our house!"

"I didn't kill him!" Max cried back, sounding way too offensive. "At least I don't _think_ I did.. here, help me look."

He was thrown carelessly onto the ground, and Caroline rushed over, fingering his neck for a pulse. Caroline hummed, and Max wrung her hands together anxiously with anticipation. The brunette didn't like how silent her blond roommate was being, and rambled like a nervous wreck, "So? Did I kill him? Should I have just dumped his body after wiping away the evidence--"

"He's breathing, Max. What happened?"

And so Max retold her encounter with the strange homeless dude who began shouting at nothing, and how she had to knock him out due to the fact he was severely freaking her out, and totally _not_ because she'd always wanted to crack somebody over their head with a glass. Caroline pulled away from the body in shock, as if she had just been burned, and she then quickly jumped to her feet. Max raised an eyebrow at the blond waitress, "What?! What is it? Did he stop breathing?"

"No.. it's just.. the wound on his head, where you hit him.. the blood is there but, but the wound.. it's gone!"

"What? No way, I hit him with all my might! How can he be okay?"

Caroline was pulling on her favorite pair of jeans over the itty bitty shorts that she slept in, and slipped on her high heels. Max watched in confusion and mild entertainment. She had never seen Caroline dress so quickly for something, unless there was some sort of extremely high discount at her favorite fashion store. Other then that, this was something new.

"Max.. he'll be okay.. but I don't know if we will.."

"What-chu-talkin'-bout, Woman?" Max snapped, irritated by how Caroline seemed to be completely avoiding her questions.

"Max, this isn't an ordinary homeless dude. I think you might of accidentally brought someone.. _incredibly_ dangerous into our apartment."

"What?! How do you know that?" Max stepped over the unconscious body of the homeless dude (she may of accidentally kicked him in the head-- whoops) and quickly grabbed her black coat to put over her waitress uniform. Caroline looked at her with the most serious look Max has ever seen her roommate wear, before replying,

"I went to Warton."

 

* * *

 . . .

 

"It sure was nice of Sophie to let us stay at her place for the night," Caroline said in a tone way too chipper for 8 o'clock in the morning. She slipped out of her jacket as both she and Max entered the diner, heading straight for the kitchen. They strutted past Han, their tiny boss-man who had opened his mouth to nag them for being _two hours late_ to work, but Max simply discarded her jacket and tossed it on the top of his head to cease his jibber jabber as Caroline hung her coat on the hook.

Max rolled her shoulder in a circle, both exhausted and sore from dragging the unconscious man all the way back to her house, and then being forced to cuddle (god, Caroline was _such_ a cuddler and Max may have kicked her in the stomach a few times that night) on Sophie's couch with Caroline for the night. It was safe to say that the feisty waitress was _not_ in a good mood. "Yeah, but what are we gonna do about the alien knocked out in our living floor, mixing blood into our already stained carpet?" She asked Caroline, once they reached the kitchen.

"He isn't an alien, Max." Caroline said dismissively.

Max shrugged as she and Caroline greeted Oleg before heading back into the freezer for privacy. Once she and Caroline were alone in the back, Max continued, "Yeah, but if he isn't an alien, how else would you explain the super healing, or whatever?"

"It's hard to explain to someone who.." Caroline trailed off after she noticed the hard look Max was giving her, as if just _daring_ her to call her dumb. "...Isn't familiar with genetics."

"Genetics? So he's a superhero? I knocked out a superhero? Does that make me a super villain?"

Caroline hmm'd in thought as she dried a glass with her white wash cloth, filling it with water and taking a drink. "I don't know what he is, but I think I have an idea."

Max rolled her eyes, tired of Caroline dancing around an explanation. "Oh, for Christs sake, just tell me before I start growing gray hair over here, woman."

"I think he might have the same serum injected in him as Captain America. Or perhaps, a not as educated version. Most people who get the virus end up, well, combusting after a few days,"

There were so many questions Max wanted to ask, but instead she stuck with the one that seemed the most logical to her. "So we're gonna have hot hobo guts all over our living room walls?"

"What?" Caroline seemed momentarily side tracked by Max's usual off-topic attention span. "No, god, not all over my new bed!" She shook her head and returned to the topic, "Max, listen." Caroline set down the half empty glass of water on the counter and took a few steps closer to Max, looking terribly concerned. "I think the man in our living room is--"

The girls were cut off from their conversation by a loud bang. The sound of glass shattering and a few of the diners shouts startled the two waitresses, and Caroline looked at Max with a look of confusion, mixed with horror. Max turned to Caroline and said sternly, "It's probably just another homeless guy, don't get yourself too excited now."

The last thing she needed was the blond peeing on herself again. "Stay here," Max ordered sternly before turning on her heel.

When Max exited the freezer to go check and see what was happening in the dining area, she saw shattered glass scattered against the tiled floor, and the diners door kicked in. A man with a gun was waving his weapon in all sorts of directions before his gaze fell on Max. Her heart skipped a beat when a flash of recognition crossed his eyes, "You." He said as he pointed the gun in her direction, and then began to step towards her.

"Let me guess, you want all of our money?" If Max were frightened, she did a great job with hiding it. "Boy, did you choose the wrong place to hit up. You'll be lucky if you leave here with at least two hundred dollar bills."

The robber shuffled into his pocket and pulled out a photo, examining it before looking back up at Max. "Yeah, it's you all right." He began strutting towards her quickly, shoving a few diners out of his way, who let out startled cries and did their best to avoid the man with a gun. The man seemed determined, and his hard gaze never left Max's. "Where is he?!" He spat.

"Where is who?" Max replied calmly, though her voice shook just the slightest. Damn. Damn, damn, damn!

The man placed his gun against her temple when he reached her, "You know who I'm talking about. You came in contact with a very wanted man last night--" Max gulped. Caroline had been right, she did bring a dangerous man into their home last night! Damn, she hated when Caroline was right. Now she was going to get her brains blown out.

It was just like in her worst nightmares, she was going to die in this fucking waitress uniform.

Max looked the killer in his eye. Yup, there was no signs of hesitation, or remorse. He would pull the trigger without a second thought, the only thing keeping him from doing so was information. Information he wanted her to give him. She blinked slowly, trying to gather her wits.

Caroline erupted from the kitchen, "Max!"

"Caroline, you dumb ass, go in the kitchen before you piss your pants again!" Now was not the time for the ex-billionaire princess to try acting like a hero.

Caroline shook her head, knee's wobbling together as she held a broom for defense. The man pointed his gun in her direction, and Max opened her mouth to shout no, but Caroline cut them both off by quickly exclaiming, "Wait! I know where he is! I'll tell you, but let her go!"

Before Max could ask Caroline what the hell she was doing, an elbow flew past her face and hit the robber right in his nose, causing him to release her and for Max to stumble back a few steps. Her eyes widened when she saw the blond hair and biceps of Captain America himself, saving the day just like all the articles on her laptop (that she looked up without Caroline's help; what could she say? Max loved Super hero stories) said he would.

She watched, slack jawed as he pulled some obviously military trained move to disarm the man from his gun, and then proceeded to watch Captain America literally pistol whip the guy in his face, causing him to hit the ground unconscious.

Max shook the shock out of her head and instantly began to egg the Captain on. "Don't just pistol whip him in the face!! Shoot him where it hurts!"

Steve turned to her, and made a point to unload the gun with a clearly disapproved look on his face. Max shrugged her shoulders as she looked over at her best friend, only to see the blond having the same frown on her face, arms crossed.

"What?" Max asked, defensively. "I didn't say _kill_ him. Just make sure he wouldn't be able to reproduce."

"Is everyone alright?" Steve changed the subject wisely, addressing the diner filled with frightened civilians. No one seemed hurt, just shook up, and before the Captain could ask how the waitress held hostage was faring up, the sounds of police sirens filled the streets, and the diner was soon filled with officers. Steve frowned as the men in police uniforms shoved passed him, clearly not recognizing that this was _Captain America_ they were pushing out their way in a hurry.

His gaze dropped to a photo on the ground, and Steve bent down to pick it up in a hurry before it could get any more trampled by the police officers boots, and his heart sank once he examined the photograph.

 

* * *

. . .

  
The officers threw an orange blanket around both Max and Caroline's shoulders ( _and a pair of sweats for Caroline-- yup! She did 'it' again.._ ), and through the chaos of it all, Max looked around, noting absently that Captain America was missing. She had to shake the thought out of her head as a police officer got a little rough and handsy with her, and Max quickly shrugged his hand off of her shoulder, biting at him that he was getting close to the you'll-have-to-pay-me-cash, zone.

An hour then passed, and Max was sitting on the back of an ambulance car as she explained to the police officers for the fifth time that _no_ she didn't know why the man claimed to recognize her, and announced for the twentieth time that she was _so_ ready to go home.

It was in the middle of an eye roll, when an officer asked her the same question all of his partners had asked her just five minutes ago, that she noticed him standing on the side lines staring at her intensely. Deciding she wasn't going to be able to leave any time soon unless she took the initiative, Max threw the shock blanket in the back of the truck and hopped down from the ambulance, heading over to where Steve was. His jaw clenched for a moment as he watched the waitress approach, but Steve did nothing, not even return the smile that Max had so graciously gave him.

She sauntered up to him with a grin, not seeming to mind (or notice, or probably care) how tense he his shoulders were. "Nice timing back there, although you could have been about five minutes earlier." She grinned cheekily as Caroline approached the two, folding up her blanket and handing it to a nurse who was walking by with a clip board in her hand.

"I was ready to leave about.. fifty minutes ago," Caroline announced, dusting her hands as she shook her blond head at Max. "Seriously, I'm pretty sure about fifteen minutes into that, they were holding me against my will. Lets ditch this scene Max, I'm so ready to go home and take a long, much needed shower."

"Did they give you a change of underwear, too?" Max teased and Caroline shot her a dirty look, as if daring Max to make another potty joke.

"No. They didn't. And that's why we gotta leave _now_." Caroline turned on her red bottom heels (which totally did not match with the gray sweats she was now wearing since her waitress uniform was, well, _soiled_ ) and began to click away, tugging on the top of Max's waitress dress to follow her. Max glanced at the Captain from over her shoulder. Now that she was actually paying attention to him, she noticed the furrow of his eyebrows that was the same look her high school teachers gave her when they caught her smoking pot in the bathroom.

"Wait a second, what's his problem?" She asked, tugging her arm away from Caroline and sizing the Captain up, hands on her hips as he continued to give her the Captain-America-Version of the stink eye. "What's the deal? Is it what I said about the gun? C'mon, I've been shot before, a bullet to the arm wouldn't kill a man, and plus we definitely don't need that guy having children-"

Steve pulled out the photo he'd picked up from the ground in the diner, tapping it impatiently with his forefinger as he raised it in her face. "When was this picture taken?"

Max took the photograph soundlessly, recognizing it as the same one that the robber pulled out to identify her with. She scanned it mutely, seeing that it was a picture from last night when she was dragging the homeless dude off of the subway, and oh god, were her boobs popping out like that the whole time? Jesus Christ, she must of been giving everybody on the subway a free show that night. Max frowned, although she figured she was upset for an entirely different reason then the Captain was.

"Max.." Caroline approached carefully, looking wearily at Steve. "Maybe we should tell the Captain everything that happened last night.."

"Great, you _would_ want to confess to the police, Caroline." Max ripped the photo in half and dropped it onto the pavement, because really who the fuck said it was okay to take pictures of her without her permission? She placed her hands on her hips as she literally had to look up at Steve, who was more then just a little bit taller then her.

She frowned with clear reluctance as she gave Steve the story, "He came in the diner, started screaming nonsense, and I shut him up. Okay? I totally freaked out and cracked a plate against his head. Is there gonna be a problem?" She sounded testy, as if she were ready to flight or fight at any moment. Steve would have been amused at the thought of the small waitress trying to fight him, or even out-run him, if it weren't for all the questions rushing through his head.

She took out Bucky.., I mean, the Winter Soldier? With just a plate? Steve instinctively clenched his teeth, unsure of whether to be concern, amused, or just downright horrified. Well, in the end, at least she managed to get out of the situation unscratched. Steve knew from experience that the Winter Soldier was not someone to take lightly. He asked the question which seemed to be the most of his concern at the moment, "Where is he now?"

"Took him back to my crib. Caroline freaked out when she saw him, and we ditched mi casa to stay at a friends and watch re-runs of the _Kardashian's_ all night." Max shook her head appreciatively at the memory of Kim Kardashian's ass. "I swear I need to be in that family. If I could get paid for having a nice pair of tits and ass, I'd take up the opportunity pronto."

"Yeah, and that's called _prostitution_ , Max. The all-time-low, right below Waitressing!" Caroline said in an obviously-forced-pepped voice. She got snippy when she was tired. Caroline let out a groan of exasperation and put a hand on her hip, "Why don't we just bring him back to that place I reluctantly call _our house_? If we're lucky, the hot hobo will still be there, and hopefully not in tiny bite sized pieces all over my new sheets."

"Caroline!" Max said loudly, taking a few quick strides over to the blond and gripped her shoulders, whispering irritably in her ear, "You _**never**_ show the Po Po where you hid the body, alright!! I'm so not going to jail for the eighth time." The brunette waitress said in a tone that was probably a little too serious.

"The eighth?" Caroline stumbled over Max's logic for only a few seconds before carrying on, "Max, you didn't kill him! And I really hope you don't have any other bodies hidden in our apartment! God, that would explain the smell."

"No, that's just my laundry I've been neglecting for about two years now."

Steve had enough of the two waitresses bickering. From his time spent doing research and drinking coffee at the diner, he knew that they could go on for hours (while neglecting their work and making various short jokes at their manager) so he interrupted the two girls before they could catapult off subject any further then they already had. On the bright side, it was becoming easier for Steve to get used to how short peoples attention span was in this unfamiliar century. In fact, he found the girls to be quite refreshing (although if not tad bit of a nuisance).

"Is he still there? You see, that's a very important friend of mine. Do you ladies think you can possibly take me over to your place?" If Steve weren't so concerned about the fact that the Winter Soldier has been in the same city as him and was possibly still in town, then he would of been blushing red over the fact that he was so eagerly inviting himself over to two damn good looking dame's house. However, at the moment, the thought didn't cross his mind.

At the same time Caroline eagerly piped, "Sure!" Max had flatly resolved with, "No." and a scoff, as if his request was the most ridiculous thing in the world.

The two roommates exchanged a look before looking back at Steve, and Caroline laughed nervously, "Of course you can--"

At the same time, Max painfully dead-panned with, "Absolutely not."

Caroline quickly pulled Max away, and the two shared angry whispers at one another.

Steve let out a heavy sigh, dealing with these two girls suddenly becoming more exhausting then it probably should be.

 

* * *

 

 

In the end, Caroline managed to convince Max to let Steve stop by, (and what an awful lot of convincing it took; _"I refuse to let a fucking_ **fed** _into our illegally owned apartment! What if the wall phone rings!??!"_ ) but only if Max was able to blind-fold Captain America the whole way there.

Steve didn't have the heart to tell the girls that even without the blindfold, he knew exactly how long to ride the subway to their street (thirty seven minutes and twenty six seconds, _or_ the seventh stop.), or that he knew how long to walk on the street before making a left, walk for another four minutes and turn right, walk straight for fifteen, turn right and he'd be opening the door to the lobby of their complex.

He decided not to explain that he didn't exactly need his _eyes_ to know exactly where their run-down apartment was at. He truly, honest-to-God, would have liked to give the girls their privacy. However, his advanced body-and-mind from the Super Soldier serum made it quite hard.

"Okay Max.. can we take the blindfold off Captain America now?" Caroline said as they reached the last flight of stairs.

Max had her hands tucked into her pocket, and her smug smirk was the first thing Steve was greeted with once Caroline had so graciously relieved him of the burden of being blind. Steve looked down at Max and lifted his eyebrow, as if asking her if there was something she wanted to say, which only made the pretty waitress smirk even harder at him. He could tell she was smug because she was sure he had no idea where she lived.

Steve let out a sigh.

Oh hell, he hopes Bucky is in there.


	6. Black Widow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha always thinks she knows what's best. Steve is beginning to get concerned.

 

. . .

**Chapter Six**

* * *

  _Black Widow_

. . . 

 

"Can cross this off my bucket list," Max announced as she fumbled with the key, opening her front door and pushing it open. "Blindfold Captain America, check. Next on the list is to have kinky sex with him on Caroline's bed." She turned to look at him expectantly, hand on her hip as she quirked an eyebrow back to him, completely ignoring Caroline's scandalized gasp and harsh _'Max!!'_. "The latter is totally up for grabs. Never had sex with a cop before. Y'know... sober."

"Ma'am.., m'not a cop." Steve grumbled as he placed a protective arm in front of Max, backing her away from the opened door when she tried to take a step into her apartment.

Despite if he was once his friend in a past life, this was the _Winter Soldier_ we're talking about.. and Steve would be damned if he let a civilian enter the room before he had a chance to secure the area. He let himself in first, cautiously.... hopeful.

Max shot Caroline a dumbstruck face that clearly said 'Is-This-Guy-Serious??' and Caroline just waggled her eyes suggestively and proceeded to pointedly check out Captain America's ass.

Max nodded her head in appreciation once she checked out the view for herself.

Mmmm.. 'murica.

After Steve took a few steps inside, Max came stomping past him. "Oh well... looks like home boy isn't here."

Caroline came clicking in after her and brushed past a shocked Steve, grabbing a towel and a change of clothes before marching over to the bathroom. "I'll check and see if he's in the bathroom. No one bug me, either. I've had a very long day." She slammed the door promptly and a tiny click filled the silence.

"Funny, I don't remember having a lock on that thing." Max said, referring to her bathroom door as she discarded her jacket and tossed it on the chair, which actually looked decent compared to how much junk had been on it a few nights before. Steve looked absolutely crestfallen as Max rushed into the kitchen, peeking her head into the backyard.

"Oh, good. He didn't steal the eight hundred pound championship horse we _totally-legally-have_ in our back yard," Her voice rose a few pitches higher at the last part, before returning back to normal. ".. the dude must be a nut-job."

Steve wanted to explain to the waitress that _that nut job_ is a brain washed assassin who's been on the job for at least fifty years.. but something caught Steve's attention that distracted him from the thought. He picked up a stray needle and syringe that had been kicked underneath the couch, furrowed his eyebrows, and tucked it into his pocket. It could be evidence.

The house was secure..

...Unfortunately.

_'Damn.. how many times will I let him slip from me?'_

His silence was interrupted by Caroline emerging from the bathroom with wet hair and fresh new clothes on. Max's lips quirked into a wide grin when the blond left the bathroom, "Feelin better, Captain Potty Pants?"

"Captain Potty Pants?" Caroline repeated, completely un-amused. "Really, that's the best you got, Max?"

"Oh no, I can go on for days," Max shrugged with nonchalance, but noticed that Caroline was shoving her waitress uniform into her purse. "Wait-- where are you going?"

"Um, after this morning I am so not going to stay in this hell-hole apartment. I just texted Andy telling him I need some 'Oh-My-God-I-Almost-Died-And-Realized-How-Much-I-Hate-My-Life sex." Caroline was flinging her jacket over her shoulder and slipping on her red-bottom heels.

"Oh, baby. That's my kind of sex." Max cooed approvingly as she picked up a cup to go pour herself some water. "But, I'm pretty sure I'm the one who was about to eat a bullet. Where's my I-Hate-My-Life-Sex?" She then sent the Captain a forward look, which had Steve swallowing thickly and nearly tugging on the collar of his shirt from how hot it had suddenly gotten in the room.

"Right.. Max.. don't do anything to the Captain while I'm gone." Caroline said teasingly to Max as she walked over to the door. "Oh, and thank you for making sure we got home safely, Captain. I don't even want to think about what would of happened if you didn't show up when you did!"

Steve rubbed the back of his head, only a little bit shyly. "I'm just glad I got there when I did, ma'am."

"Oooh! He's just too cute! Max, I don't want to come back and find out that the Captain put a restraining order against you!" Caroline warned once again. Max shrugged her shoulders without much care.

"No promises."

Caroline exited the small apartment briefly to go get laid by the candy man, and Max cleared some plates from the kitchen, noticing that Steve was still standing in the living room, seeming lost in thought.

"S'all good?" Max asked with a raised eyebrow at the dejected looking Soldier, noting how he was silent for a few minutes.

Steve shook away his momentary depression from the lack of Bucky. "No, I'm fine.. I mean, it's fine. Everything seems secure." The captain jumbled over his words.

"Pft, didn't need you to tell me that. Lets not forget that I'm the one who may-or-may-not-have killed him," Max pointed a finger at herself triumphantly.

This time, Steve found himself letting out a chuckle that surprised him, but the thought of this girl thinking she'd be able to take on the Winter Soldier was enough to make even him laugh.

"Plus, I used to watch my moms boyfriends rated R kung-fu movies when I was seven." Max rolled her shoulder proudly. "So you know, pretty capable over here."

His chuckle slowly turned into a silent laugh through his nose, and the captain shook his head. "I've never once doubted your capability, miss." He recalled the waitress standing up for herself on multiple times at the diner, situations in which had him feeling sorry for the poor fellas who were at the butt of her jokes.

"Damn right!" Max agreed as she walked over to the kitchen, pulling out a bowl from the empty refrigerator and flipping the plastic over it. She grabbed a big spoon and began to mix the cupcake dough she had setting over night.

Steve let out another silent sigh as he walked over by the door. His shoulders sagged visibly, and Max couldn't help but think never once has a guy been upset to be alone with her (and her cup cakes ;D) before. She probably would of been offended if it weren't for the fact that she didn't want him to come over in the first place. Seriously, Max could feel the anxiety of having a cop in her home, and was resisting the urge to go re-hide her stash because Captain America would probably catch her in the process.

"Well, listen.." Steve picked up a pencil and an old thrift-store receipt and scribbled his cell phone number (that he remembered the first time around, because really, the perks of super serum was limitless) before setting the paper back down on the chair. "If you happen to.. um, see that guy around.." _You should probably run. Really fast._ "..Just give me a call."

Max cleared her throat, "Eh-hem. Yeah, I don't think so. I'm not no snitch."

Steve blinked, taken back for a moment. "Pardon?"

"Why you after that homeless guy, huh? Is he some kind of higher-up drug dealer? Because I'll let you know, you'll find those on about every corner on Williams burgh. But don't talk to the prostitutes, because they'll have no qualms with taking Captain America's virginity." She paused when she saw the Captain frown, and shrugged her shoulders innocently. "Hey, don't say I didn't warn ya'."

There were just about too many things to correct her on; First off, _'He's not homeless. He's my friend. And he's dangerous.'_ ...But Steve just didn't want to get into that. And as for him being a virgin... well, she can assume what she wants.

Honestly, he was surprised that the brunette truly was oblivious to who the Winter Soldier was. After Natasha leaked all of S.H.I.E.L.D/HYDRA's database and then went into hiding, Steve couldn't help but feel for the loss of his privacy. As if every secret of himself was out in the open, before and after pictures of the transformation that he wasn't ashamed of, but seeing on museum walls was enough to make him uneasy.

Steve was used to people tip toeing around him, watching what they say in order not to upset him (and really? do people really think he is that vulnerable?), or just flat-out lying to his face. _'Not telling the whole story,'_ as Fury had so generously tried to put it.

But not Max. Not the fiery waitress who worked at the run down diner with the best damn burgers he'd had to to date.

And maybe, Steve could of corrected her that no, he wasn't a virgin. In fact, he chuckled deeply at her mistake, which was new, because usually he'd be annoyed when people made the assumption. Not that he'd correct them, it was none of their concern, but Steve almost wanted to show the attractive waitress why she was wrong.

Max lifted an eyebrow as she saw him caught in his thoughts. She frowned, because his fine ass was taking absolutely way too long to leave her apartment. She was definitely taking the rest of the day off, but she was going to do so by baking cupcakes to sell for tomorrow. Unlike Caroline, Max didn't have the luxury of running off to her boyfriends house and going at it like rabbits until all of her worries of the day were gone.

Setting her mixing bowl down, Max walked over to the door and watched as the Captain chuckled to himself. She didn't know what the hell was so damn funny, and she clearly didn't care because she pulled the front door opened and propped her hand on her waist.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." She then made a show of peering over his shoulder to blatantly check out his back, "Although it'd probably just bounce back open off that ass." Damn, Caroline was right. The Cap' sure did have a nice behind.

Once Steve's chuckle turned to silent laughter, he allowed the petite brunette to push him out of her apartment and into the hall way, the grin on his lips never once faltering. Max made a big show of dusting her hands together, sending him a toothy (and completely sarcastic) smile, before slamming the door shut on his face.

"Make sure you give me a call if anything comes up!" She heard Steve say from the other side of the door. She shrugged in response, not caring that he couldn't see her, and waited until she heard his heavy footsteps escort himself from the building.

She let out a sigh of relief once she was sure he was gone. He didn't seem like he wanted to throw her on the couch and tear her waitress uniform off, so there was really no point in him hanging around.

Besides, Max's Homemade Cupcakes ain't gon' bake themselves! And while Caroline thought almost getting shot in the brain was a good reason to take the rest of her day off, Max knew that if she didn't start baking now, then she'd have nothing to sell later on. Thus having no way to pay rent (pft, like she paid rent!).

' _Lord, that is one fine under-cover cop._ ' Max shivered as she remembered his gruff tone, _"Ma'm.. 'm not a cop,"_ and she abruptly began to shake the unwanted thoughts out of her head, because really, who the hell said it was okay for her to get butterflies from thinking about Captain America?

"I think I need to get baked before I start baking.."

And with that, Max sauntered off to go recollect her hidden stash.

* * *

. . .

By the time Steve had turned his motorcycle off and made his way to the front door, he let out a long, weary sigh that he felt as though he'd been holding in for the past seventy or so years.

He felt like shit. Nothing could be worst then arriving at a dead trail, and having to start from the beginning once again. He was used to the disappointment by now. The past six months have proved to be fruitless each time him and Sam sniffed out a trail, but ended up at a dead end.

Of course, he would try over and over again for the rest of his life, now that he had hope.

He wasn't alone. Eighty years later, Bucky was alive. There was absolutely no way Steve wasn't going to give his all on getting his Bucky back. Not this 'Winter Soldier' that Hydra created.

James Buchanan Barnes, son of George Matthew Barnes. Former Sergeant, and member in Steve's Howling Commanders squad.

His best pal.

He could still remember vividly training at the gym with Bucky, back when the thought of being a soldier seemed like an unachievable dream for the former artist. Of course Bucky would get drafted into the forces, he was nearly four times Steve's size, and no disabilities that would 4F him. That had been the first time Steve truly felt like he lost his best friend.

Back then, it felt like the hardest blow to his stomach to have Bucky go fight on the front lines. For his _best friend_ to be apart of those brave soldiers while Steve sat back and _painted_ in _class_. Safe. While there were tons of good men out there risking their lives. Why did he get to do anything less?

And then he lost Bucky again. When Peggy approached Steve with talk of rescuing those one hundred and seven prisoners, there was no way he couldn't take action. And because the thought of being without his best friend, _the only family he had left_ , just like that, Steve saved Bucky with just his bare hands and shield.

And then he lost Bucky _for real_. But none of that matters now. Because he's back. For real.

(And Steve knew it wasn't a dream, because Bucky's punches hurt even more now then they had back when he was pre-Serum Steve, which was saying a lot.)

It felt good to know that Bucky was alive. Even if he failed again this time, he'd try harder next time. Steve felt refreshed, and ready to head to his work desk and start again.

At least he knew Bucky was at that waitresses house last night, maybe if he stopped by again tomorrow for a follow up--

"You're usually home at this time."

Any normal, hot-blooded male would probably be overwhelmed by the sight of the Black Widow perched against their wall as soon as they open the door to their home.

Fortunately, Captain America was not your typical male.

"Widow." He sounded only slightly surprised, even a little amused by the sight of the red-head in her casual attire. Natasha smirked at him as neither moved an inch, staring eachother down. And then, Steve cracked a smile. "I thought you'd be half way across the world by now."

"Oh, I did take a vacation for a while." She kicked her foot off the wall and approached Steve as he shut the front door, sighing and hanging his black leather coat. " _Singita Lodges_ , Africa. Took me a day to get bored."

"Surprised you lasted that long. You know, I do have a cell phone." Steve said in a disapproving tone. "Good thing about technology is that you can let somebody know if you're dropping by _unexpectedly_ in a matter of minutes. It's called a text message."

"Seconds," Natasha corrected him plainly as she seated herself on his black leather couch, looking mildly impressed by how surprisingly modern his house was. Well, modern for him, at least. She brushed on to the next topic, "I suppose you're still looking for him, even though I told you you shouldn't."

Steve knew Natasha hadn't dropped by for a friendly hello. "Well, if I listened to everybody who told me I _shouldn't_ do something, I'd never get anything done." He retorted calmly, heading towards his coffee table to pick up a yellow folder marked with 'CLASSIFIED' in about three different languages.

Natasha didn't seem phased, (but then again, when did she?) "The Winter Soldier is not somebody who can be _saved_ , Steve. You don't know what they did to him." Her voice was emotionless, and it made Steve clench his hand into a fist at his side.

"You're right. I don't." Steve stared down at her, eyes hard. Natasha returned his gaze, eyes cold. "But I'm going to do whatever it takes to get him back."

The Black Widow rose from the couch at his words. She seemed to have gotten the answers she came for, because she held his gaze as she walked over to his door, held it for a moment longer, before smirking and shutting his front door.

Steve sighed as he collapsed into the couch that had been across from the seat Natasha previously sat in, and placed his forehead in palms. Great, now he had to add the Black Widow on to his list of people to watch out for. Bucky still first on the list, of course.

He didn't know what that was about, but Steve immediately called Sam over, deciding it was about time to tell him about his exchange with the two waitresses, and the photograph he found earlier that day.

 

* * *

 

Natasha pulled out a cigarette and used one hand to cup around her lighter so she could light the end, before putting the lighter away. She let out a puff, then followed by a sigh as she looked down at the man who was slowly regaining his consciousness before her. She had been standing there for at least twenty minutes now, hovering over Bucky's body contemplating what she was going to do with the tied up man.

She'd been trailing Bucky the night before, he was delirious, but he was sharp, and he almost nearly caught her three times. Nearly. Natasha was able to dodge the super soldier's range of sight by mere seconds, but she successfully tailed the delirious man without him noticing her.

And she wasn't ashamed to admit that she sat back and watched the brunette waitress knock the Winter Soldier out, and then proceed to drag him by his armpits out of the shop ( _but not before Max made a very amusing show of propping the unconscious Winter Soldier face-first against the glass door of the store as she locked it_ ) and onto the subway.

Natasha was quick to take a picture of Max on her phone, and hop on the next train, pulling up the broke waitress's address in a matter of seconds as her database recognized Max's facial features and pulled up her profile.

By the time she arrived at their apartment ( _pick-locking their door wasn't even necessary at this point from how run down and cheap it was_ ), the house was empty and abandoned, save for the unconscious Winter Soldier on the floor. Natasha had quickly injected him with a stabilizing drug she'd gotten from Africa, and threw the syringe needle somewhere on the floor.

Of course, she was a lot more discreet with her kidnapping of Bucky Barnes, ( _although Max Black was to thank for capturing the Winter Soldier, Natasha couldn't help but think her_ very very _dumb_ ) and Natasha carried him out as if he were merely her drunk unconscious friend, and threw him in the back of the Uber car she called.

"Don't worry, he won't be waking up anytime soon," She brushed off her drivers look of concern when she plopped the unconscious man in the back and then sat in the front. "But if he does, he'll throw up all over the place, so step on the gas."

When the woman and her victim arrived at the fancy house Natasha had been renting for a few days, she tied the drugged soldier up and poured herself a glass of water. She didn't sleep that night, and left to go see Steve that morning, but was surprised to see he wasn't locked in his house ripping his hair out over finding his best friend.

She lounged around his house for a while ( _he was definitely going to notice that all of his oreos were gone. She highly doubted they were his, but instead that friend Sam of his_ ) and walked over to the front door when she heard his motorcycle pull up.

Of course, Natasha trusted Steve now. He proved to be reliable, and she had no doubt that he would risk his life for her when they're on the battle field. She felt like she had someone who could watch her back for once, not with just Clint. He told her he trusted her, even though she kept so many secrets from him.

So, Natasha supposed one more teensy weensy secret wouldn't be too bad. After her conversation with Steve, Natasha slipped out of his house without mentioning that the reason she was in town was because she had a trail on the Winter Soldier, and now had in tied up in her basement.

Natasha let out another puff of smoke as she blew it down to Bucky's face, seeing that his eyes opened as he regained consciousness. Bucky's face scrunched from both grogginess and confusion as he tried to recall where he was, the last thing he remembered being the diner from the day before.

"...You did a poor job of tying me up."

"It'll be enough. Make one wrong move and I'll put you back to sleep." The woman blew another puff of smoke in his face. Bucky's face remained stoic, his expression unwavering. His eyes darted around the room, taking in the dark basement.

"....."

Natasha knelt down so she was closer to his face. Bucky remained quiet, not faltering the least as she seemed to be surveying him, as if trying to read his thoughts. Too bad for her, he wasn't sure what to think.

"..Steve tells me you've got a name. It was hard enough for me to believe the Winter Soldier was more then just a horrifying myth. Now they're telling me he's an actual person." Natasha's tone was cold as she blew another puff out, to the side. She then continued, "Your name. You know it?"

"...."

She sat with him in silence only for a few seconds, before pressing further. "Well?"

"...He called me Bucky."

"He says you're his friend." Natasha nodded in approval at his reply. "I'm a friend of Steve's as well."

"How about you tell me who you are then, lady? Or why you decided you should tie me up?" If Natasha wasn't so weary of the man, she would of been impressed by how polite he managed to sound, despite the obvious annoyance that slipped out from his tone.

She blew another puff of smoke out into his face. "Seven years ago. Iran. You shot me. Bullet killed my client, and now I don't get invited to the parties in Odessa anymore." She watched Bucky's eyes flicker to the floor.

"Do you remember that?"

"...." Natasha waited for him to respond, taking a long drag of the cigarette patiently. It took Bucky a minute to respond, "..I know I've done a lot of things that I won't be able to ever take back."

She watched unfaltering as Bucky flexed, loosening the ropes that she had bound him with, and snapping the restrains off of him. She should of been frightened by the pure strength of it all, but when you've fought along side the Hulk, it was hard for things like that to faze her. She merely raised an eyebrow at Bucky, and watched as he rolled his real shoulder in a circle to ease the tension, and then flexed the fingers on his prosthetic arm.

"...I don't know what I'm supposed to do to make things right."

Natasha smashed her cigarette on the basement floor, standing up to look at Bucky who sat on the floor, looking like a lost puppy. "Well, you can start by not nearly killing the only person who wants to help you."

"..."

Natasha almost felt bad because of how guilty Bucky looked. He shook his head, "...I don't remember him."

"You will. I can help you."

"You can?" He looked uncertain. "..What if... I don't want to?"

She raised a skeptical eyebrow at him, "And why wouldn't you?"

"..I'm not.. I'm not the same man that he thinks I am. He's supposed to be my friend, but I was ready to kill him. I was really going to do it. And I wouldn't of felt a thing. I never have. But then suddenly I felt guilt," Bucky clutched onto his head as if he were in pain, and Natasha discreetly grabbed the new syringe and needle from her back pocket. Despite the pain he was in, Bucky continued. "And suddenly I didn't want to complete the mission anymore. He was-- he, he was my friend." Bucky choked.

"He is still your friend," Natasha eased gently, similar to the gentle tone she used when dealing with the Hulk. Bucky was starting to get twitchy, and he was beginning to raise his voice.

"I'm not him!" Bucky shouted violently. "I'm not the man he thinks I am anymore--"

"And you don't have to be," Natasha coaxed him gently. "Because no matter what you've done, no matter who you've become, you're all each other has."

And with that, while Bucky was distracted by her words, Natasha quickly stabbed him with her syringe and injected him with another doze of sleeping drugs. The Winter Soldiers eyes were feral upon the attack, and he grabbed Natasha's wrist so tightly she winced, before his grip slacked and he fell back to the floor, unconscious.

Natasha let out a shaky breath as she clutched her bruised hand. She pulled out her cellphone and dialed a number.

"Stark."

"Did you get him?" Tony's voice came from the other end of the line.

"I have him stabilized right now," came Natasha's vague response.

"Did you tell the Cap?"

"Nope. I don't trust his judgement." Natasha replied simply.

Tony made a sound of approval from the other line, "Good. Neither do I. Why don't you head on down to my place and bring ol' Freezer Burn with you? Then we can start the real fun."

Natasha knew by _fun_ , Tony meant interrogation. "That'd probably be for the best. Be there in a few." She promptly hung up, not waiting for a response.

When all of this was settled, Natasha definitely was going to need to take a visit to that diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My best friend (and beta) hates this story. She wants me to update my Supernatural and Fairy Tail stories, but I've been itching to update this one for a while. I already have the next chapter typed out, and hopefully it won't take me long to finish it. 
> 
> But yeah, when my friend read this chapter, she was so irritated with me for making Natasha use an Uber car. Whatever! I think it's funny, and if the Black Widow wanted to keep a low profile, she'd probably mingle around with the civilians. 
> 
> I love kudos and bookmarks! And if you could, you should leave a comment to let me know that this story isn't becoming one big pile of junk. Because I'm kinda starting to hate it.


	7. Homemade Cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Widow's being sneaky. Steve's trying to make a move. Max doesn't trust the police.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I know it's been a while. I've been rewatching all of the seasons of 2 Broke Girls during my hiatus so I can make this chapter nice and in character for you all!! ((i'm lying, i've been rewatching it for my own guilty pleasure??)

 

**Chapter Seven**

* * *

  _Homemade Cupcakes_

. . .

"Excuse me miss, I have a question for you." Natasha took a sip from her drink as she called the blond waitress over to her table.

Caroline had just finished taking an elderly couple's order, and she cheerfully made her way over to the table. "Hey! Can I refill something for you?"

"Actually.." Natasha gave Caroline an innocent smile, setting her cup of coffee on the table top. "I was wondering if you could tell me where you got these.. delicious, cupcakes?"

Caroline literally lit up, eyes widening as she collected herself, giving the customer her most award winning smile. "Oh! That's so very sweet of you to ask! These cupcakes are just all the rage in Williamsburg, did you know that Martha Stewart mentioned us in one of her blurbs?" Caroline flipped her long blond hair over her shoulder, trying her best to remain modest as she immodestly continued,

"And I don't want to brag, but these cupcakes are one of a kind, with a pallet that wouldn't be able to compete anywhere-"

"That's great!" Natasha cut the incredibly optimistic waitress off before she could go into details of just how good the cupcakes were. "Listen, I know this might sound strange, but is there any way I can meet the person behind Max's homemade cupcakes?"

Natasha smiled, twirling her finger idly in the short blond wig she was wearing as a disguise. Almost everyone in the whole world knew the Black Widow on sight because of the press conference that'd been released.

Caroline was absolutely thrilled at the request, "Oh! Absolutely! Let me just grab her real quick, I'm sure Max will be  _very, very_  excited."

The blond waitress skipped away as quickly as she could in her red-bottom heels, approaching her co-worker who'd been popping a mint into her mouth.

 

"Max! Max!" Caroline called to her roommate happily as she rushed over to her friend. Max let out a long groan, already not liking whatever it was that had Caroline in such a good mood.

"Did Oleg set the diner on fire?" Max asked, mimicking Caroline's excitement.

The blond slowed her tempo, raising a confused eyebrow. "What? No!"

"Oleg set Han on fire?" Max tried again, picking up her small rag from the counter and shoving it into her apron's pocket. Caroline finally came to a halt, stopping in front of Max and shaking her head wildly.

"No, Max! And stop guessing!" Caroline shut her up with a wave of her hand.

Max huffed, not appreciating being shut down so quickly when she was  _really_ hoping the diner would be on fire. "Well! Then what is it, woman?! What have I told you about smiling in the diner when there's nothing good happening?!"

"This is where our opinions of 'good' differ." Caroline said bluntly, because Max's idea of a 'good thing' was someone getting hurt, preferably maimed. "You see that fancy woman in the suit over there at table three?"

Max peered over Caroline's shoulder in a non-discreet manner, pressing her lips together and nodding her head in appreciation before answering. "I didn't know you were into blonds but.. I'm not surprised."

"What? No- no Max. That lady over there said she's loving our cupcakes, and wants to give her compliments to the chef!" Caroline squealed happily, but was met with silence from Max. She paused, "Max, that's  _you_."

"I'll pass." Max said bluntly, filling up a cup with soda before taking a long chug. Caroline's face fell.

"Why Max? Why? Whh-h-h-h-yy-y-y-yyy?" Caroline whined, her voice doing that annoying thing where she baa'd like a sheep, and it drove Max crazy.

She frowned, glaring at Caroline for even bringing it up. "Because! I've seen woman like her before, they're trendy, blood-sucking locusts who come into this town to pillage and destroy everything I care about!"

Max set her cup against the counter with a hard 'CLANK!', getting worked up at the thought of putting her cupcakes at the mercy of some business woman who spent her free time at this crappy diner!

Caroline's eyes were wide, shocked by how worked up her friend was getting because of this. She nodded her head in understanding, "I felt the exact same way when the Hilton sisters crashes my 21st birthday party."

She shook her head, realizing she was letting Max get off topic. "But this is different, Max! Just go over there ands see what she has to say. I've got a good feeling about this!"

"Oh, right, you've got a good ' _feeling'_!" Max retorted sarcastically. "Okay! Let me just march over there and-  _nope_!" She said the last part in Caroline's face, cackling madly to herself when she saw Caroline's overly excited expression frown into a pout.

She rolled her eyes, knowing that Caroline would never leave her alone unless she did this. "Alright! Fine! Fine! If it'll keep you off my back! Jeez, woman."

 

Natasha lifted her gaze to the brown haired waitress who'd come in direct contact with the Winter Soldier a few days back, but somehow managed to come out of it completely unscratched.

She was still a little hazy on the details. Bucky wasn't the most co-operative hostage, but at least he wasn't putting up a struggle any more. In fact, James Barnes wasn't doing  _anything_ anymore. Natasha hadn't been able to get a  _(non-violent)_ reaction out of him for the past few days. The only thing that could get Barnes moving was the mention of Captain America, and that was almost always a dangerous topic.

When questioned, Bucky remained silent, rarely offering a nod of his head for 'yes' and a shake for 'no'. The Black Widow was running out of options, she desperately wanted to rehabilitate the Winter Soldier for Steve. She knew that her captain had a weakness for his old buddy, and Steve would willingly let his friend tear him limb from limb if he thought it would make things better.

Natasha couldn't let Steve do that to himself. She couldn't let Steve do that to  _James_.

" _Whattt_!" Max stretched the word out due to her irritation, shoving her hands into the pocket of her apron as she approached Natasha's table. Natasha could tell that the waitress was preparing herself for the worst, and the Russian spy quickly went to work on easing the young womans nerves.

"Are you Max, of Max's Homemade Cupcakes?"

"And so what if I am? Spit it out already, I have a job to do."

Thankfully, neither woman decided to point out how Max had been relaxing behind the bar for the past thirty minutes. Natasha could thank years and years of special training for keeping her in character, not breaking her disguise as she kept her professional smile on her face.

The Russian spy dug into her purse, pulling out a business card that she'd just printed the night before.

"My name is Lucy Knope, and I just wanted to let you know that these are some of  _the best_ cupcakes I have  _ever_ eaten."

Max's eyebrows rose way up to her hairline, and Romanoff smirked secretly to herself.

"Oh, I, uh.." The waitress stumbled over her words, thrown off guard by the intimidating business woman's sudden compliment. "I mean, uh.. really?"

Her voices raised an octave higher, and Max cleared her throat as she quickly calmed herself. "That's nice. Not that I, uh.. care or anything," She shrugged her shoulders, completely flustered. "But, uh, that's pretty cool of you to... kbye!"

Max abruptly turned on her heel in the heat of her embarrassment, walking away before she could make any more of a fool out of herself. Caroline had been watching their exchange closely, and she wrung her hands together nervously as Max approached once again.

"So? What did the blood sucking lotus have to say?"

"Caroline! That is _sooo judgemental_ of you, I'm shocked!" Max gasped, feigning shocking. Caroline raised a questioning eyebrow at her friend, and the brunette waitress gave a triumphant smirk.

"She said she liked the cupcakes! I knew she couldn't be as bad as she looked."

Caroline squealed, too excited to correct Max on how she was probably the most judgmental person she knew. The former billionaire bounced excitedly, wanting to share her friends happiness.

"That's great, Max!"

Max's smile dropped from her face instantly, quickly replacing it with her usual 'I couldn't give a damn' posture and expression, and she tucked her hands into her apron if not a little bit proudly. "Yeah, whatever. Now get back to work! These tables ain't gonna serve themselves."

Caroline quickly walked over to her table with the blond woman, since she'd been trying to flag her down.

"Hello, again!" Caroline said, her bright and chipper attitude contrasting completely with the glum brunette waitress who'd Natasha had just been speaking to.

Natasha still had her business card in her hand, and a sheepish expression on her face. "Excuse me, um.. Max? She sort of ran away before I had a chance to give this to her. Do you think you can pass it along to her manager for me?"

"Yes!" Caroline shouted as she snatched the card from the woman's fingertips before she could even think about changing her mind. She could see a business opportunity when it presented itself to her, and she absolutely was not going to let this one pass her by. "A million times, yes! I'm Caroline Channing, and I'm the manager of Max's Homemade Cupcakes. I'm so, so pleased about your support!"

"Oh, absolutely, Caroline. The pleasure is all mine. I'm Lucy Knope, and I will definitely be coming into contact with you two ladies again." Natasha stood up from her seat and extended her hand out to Caroline, who grasped it in a firm handshake as the two women made their deal. "If you guys have a card you'd like to give me, I'd gladly take it. And maybe a few cupcakes for the road?"

Instantly, the waitress was reaching into the pocket of her apron and pulling out a small card that read 'MAXS HOMEMADE CUPCAKES' with a phone number across. "Oh, I carry these around everywhere, evidently for a good reason!" She laughed, only a little embarrassed by her shameless advertising, before handing the card over to Lucy. "And as for the cupcakes, of course! On the house, think of it as a little business investment."

She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Natasha had to force another laugh before the waitress was off bagging some cupcakes, and rushing back over to hand them to their newest business partner.

Natasha gave Caroline a sweet, sincere smile as she took the bag from her hands. The blond was absolutely thrilled her her proposal, and Natasha was only a little shocked by how smoothly things had gone.

Once she left the diner, the Black Widow fished into her pocket and retrieved her phone, adjusting the blond wig on her head secretly as she waited for Tony to pick up.

"Yellow?" The world's most annoying man's voice came from the other line.

"Hey, Stark." Natasha said casually, eyes scanning the streets for a cab she could take home. "Listen, do you like cupcakes?"

"I don't know? Personally, I believe cupcakes are far more convenient than your typical slice-"

"That's good." She cut him off, knowing that Tony could go on for hours if you ask him any sort of question about himself. "Did you ever find something to do with that empty lot on the eleventh floor of the Avenger's tower?"

"Actually, yes, I've been using it as temporary closet space for the suits-"

"Great!" Natasha said chipperly. "Clear it out. I'm renting it out to Max's Homemade Cupcakes. See you in a few."

"Max's-?"

Natasha clicked the end button, hanging up on the playboy billionaire with a satisfied grin on her face. She shoved her phone into her pocket, clutching the cupcakes closer to her chest.

Now all she needed was for a certain Winter Soldier to be a little bit more accommodating with her, and then things would be on the fast track of working themselves out.

So far, Bucky was turning out to be a bit more difficult than she'd planned, but that was what the cupcakes were for. Hopefully these would help loosen him up.

. . .

* * *

. . .

 

When Steve entered the diner, he made sure to knock his knuckle gently on Earl's counter, giving the man a slight wave as a greeting before he made a beeline straight to the register. There was slight bounce in the Captain's step as he fished into the pocket of his dark khaki trousers, pulling out his wallet.

The serum-enhanced-soldier had a bashful smile spread across his face as he walked to the waitress on duty who was too busy examining something on the counter to acknowledge his presence.

When Steve spoke, his words were filled with mirth, and there was a boyish grin on his face.

"You never gave me a call."

Max had been so busy counting the quarters, dimes, and nickels that some customer thought to leave her as a tip, that she didn't notice the Captain as he approached her. She jumped when she heard his deep voice, nearly scaring the crap out of her as Max let out a startled sound that sounded an awfully lot like a cat having its tail stepped on.

Steve tried to hide the shit eating grin that spread across his lips once he realized that he startled her, and he rubbed the back of his head in a nervous tick. However, he cocked his head to the side bashfully, waiting for her response.

Max rubbed her hands against her apron in a pathetic attempt to regain composure after being spooked so badly. As she spoke, her words were laced in sarcasm and forced pep.

"Ah, look who it is! Captain America, the man who apparently has nothing better to do than stop by the Williamsburg diner and scare the already-dead-inside waitress to death!" Max collected the change she'd been counting as she spoke, dropping it in a jar that said 'Tips', and continued on her monologue without missing a beat.

"Or are you here because you heard about poor ol' Paul who was tragically shoved off the top of that building down the street? I mean, who does their drug deals on the roof anyways, right? I'm surprised I was even able to outrun the police down all those stairs."

Steve furrowed two dark blond eyebrows in confusion, opening his mouth to comment, before shaking his head. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know what she was talking about, and Steve was determined not to let her distract him from his reason for stopping by.

"I was hoping you'd give me a ring." He interrupted shyly, steering them back to topic before the waitress could mouth off about some other lord forsaken things he definitely did not want to know about.

The fact of the matter is, Max was the last person alive who'd been in contact with the Winter Soldier. Steve gave her his cell number in hopes that if Bucky stumbled into the waitress again, she would be able to give Steve a call and alert him immediately.

Unfortunately, two weeks had passed, and Steve hadn't heard a single word from any of his connections. About a month back, Stark had said he was searching every inch of the city and couldn't find a trace of Buck. Yet for some reason, two weeks ago there were HYDRA men searching for the Winter Soldier, who had been last spotted with this waitress from the Williamsburg Diner.

Steve absolutely had to keep an eye on her.

She was his only lead.

The fact that she was attractive with a sharp tongue that could probably keep him entertained for hours had absolutely nothing to do with why he had waited anxiously by his phone for her to call. He was mostly eager to hear any news about his old pal, who was still alive.

Max let out an amused scoff at Steve's comment before laughing loudly in his face as she said scandalously,

"You were hoping for a  _ring_?" Max's voice went a pitch higher in disbelief as she walked over to him and patted his arm flirtatiously, before picking up a few plates from an empty table nearby and slowly walking pass him, "Well, we hardly know each other, Captain, buuut.. I'd give you a  _ring_  if you gave me a  _pearl necklace_."

She waggled her eyebrows at him, looking absolutely too proud of her comment as she quickly walked back to kitchen with sneaky smirk on her face, her dirty comment completely lost on the poor Captain. Max was just glad Caroline wasn't clocked in at the moment, or the ex billionaire princess would be scolding Max for hours about sexually harassing the Avengers.

When Max returned from the kitchen, Captain America was still glued to his spot, rubbing shyly at his neck. 

"It's.. You can call me Steve, if you like. Steve Rogers. I don't.. Think I've properly introduced myself, yet."

Inwardly, Steve groaned to himself. It's been awhile since he conversed with someone outside of his team. He only hoped the pretty dame wouldn't be able to realize how _new_ this all was to him. He figured a proper introduction would be a good place to start when it came to wooing such a beautiful gal.

Max, on the other hand, seemed to have something else entirely in mind. She let out a sourly laugh as she covered her name tag with her hand, backing away from Steve.

"Oooooh no, we won't be doing that."

"...Pardon?" Steve blinked, thrown off as always by the things that came out of this waitress's mouth.

" _You know_ ," She stressed. "The whole _getting attached_ thing. If this is some kind of new, working-undercover-trick thing the Feds are doing nowadays, don't think I'm gonna fall for it. If they couldn't make me break in Mexico, I highly doubt I'll let crack and let something slip now."

Steve let out another long, loud chuckle that left Max frowning at him, confused by what he found so damn funny. 

He rubbed his smooth chin with his palm, pink tongue sneaking out to swipe over his lips while he smiled. Steve found Max's ignorance on Captain America to be a bit exhausting, but oddly endearing.

"How many times am I gonna need t' tell you, I'm not a cop, Ms. Black?"

Okay. It didn't help that he knew her last name, and Max narrowed her bright green eyes at him when he let it slip. Steve was grinning, clearly having wanted to rattle her. He fished a five dollar bill out of his wallet and leaned his elbow on the counter, handing it to her as he gave her another shit eating grin.

"Plus.. I'm pretty sure I recall helping a certain mouthy waitress in need a while back. I'd say I've earned myself a bit of trust, don't you think?"

"If you think you can guilt trip me, then HA! The joke's on you, because, I don't have a conscience!" Max responded carelessly, waaaay to proud of the fact that her nerves were as hard as steel. She snatched his five that he handed to her and pulled out a vanilla coconut cupcake to place in a paper bag and give to Captain America.

"But I can appreciate the effort, Cap. Unfortunately, I haven't seen that hot hobo since I dumped his body on my living room floor. Who knows, maybe he's knocked out under the bridge because the black mold in my carpet poisoned his lungs? I don't know what else you want from me."

Max shoved her homemade cupcake into his hard chest, successfully resisting the urge to pet his pecks when she did so. Max continued talking as Steve grabbed the brown bag, "So that means, you can drop  _this_ , act." Max wiggled her fingers and waved her wrist disinterestedly in his direction. "This whole, 'pretending to be interested' thing so you can get the dirty deets on your boyfriend? I've got nothing to tell ya."

She pointed an accusing finger at Steve, who looked taken back by her outburst. His lips were pressed into a frown at her accusation, and Max raised an eyebrow, silently challenging him to try and tell her that she's wrong. 

"Well? Since we've got all that  _cleared_  up," Max said dismissively, clapping her hands together as if she just finished some excessive chore.

Max began to head back into the kitchen, figuring the Captain knows his way out, and that their conversation was over. She could hear Steve call out to her as she walked behind the counter.

"I don't think I've been very clear about my intentions, Ms. Black."

This had Max looking over her shoulder and raising a skeptical eyebrow at him, "Oh, I think your intentions are pretty clear. You're not here to crazy, disgusting sex with me in the meat room. You're definitely not here because you just _love_ my discounted three day old cupcakes," She spoke the last part with mocking pep, continuing. "Sooo, clearly, this has something to do with the boy toy that you're looking for."

Steve pressed two fingers to his temple, an exhausted, but genuine laugh escaping his lips. "Christ, I hope I'm not nearly as bad at this as Stark makes me out to be." He didn't want the waitress to assume he was there to spy on her, _(even if he.. sort of ... definitely was_ ) especially since she'd been the first woman to catch his interest since he woke up in this foresaken timezone. He wanted to make it clear that he was there for her, because there was something about her that caught his eye in a way he hadn't felt since his trip in ice.

"Would you like to get some coffee sometime?" Steve suddenly blurted, a shy smile spread on his lips. "With me? When.. you're not working, of course." He was rubbing the back of his neck again now, standing straight as his eyes darted around the diner, glancing at a few boys who were subtly trying to flag their waitress down.

Max let out a startled laugh, as if Steve had just told the most hilarious joke she'd heard all day.

"Ha! Good one!" Max snorted, clearly expecting him to join her in her laughter. Her laughing slowly died, and Max gave Steve a crazed look, as if he'd suddenly grown an extra head.

"Wait.." Her voice took a pitch higher, her tone being on the edge of nervous. "That.. Wasn't a joke? You're being serious?"

"I don't think I can be any more serious, ma'am." Steve's confident grin slid into a more sincere smile as he added shyly, "And.. I don't think my pride can handle it if you laughed at me anymore, so yes. Very, _very_ serious."

Max let out a long, nervous giggle despite his pride, looking over her shoulder to see if there were any witnesses to her getting asked on a date by _Captain freaking America_. Steve's smile stretched even wider once he realized he'd finally managed to make the cute waitress flustered, which felt like an exceptional accomplishment considering the many times she'd left him at a loss of words.

She sounded at a lost, "Oh. I mean... Coffee? Yeah. I can.. do that. Sometime." Max cleared her throat, shrugging her shoulders awkwardly.

Steve chucked, pressing his palm against the counter and leaning close towards the waitress. He couldn't help but want to tease her just a little, now that the shoe was on the other foot. In fact, Steve found that he genuinely enjoyed their banter. "Yeah? That right?"

Max let out another round of girlish giggles as she opened her mouth to give him a teasing retort, but Caroline barged into the diner, heels clacking as she quickly speed-walked over to the register before their manager Han could realize she was almost an hour late to work. The last thing Max wanted was for Caroline to see her giggling flirtatiously at Captain America, so she made sure to quickly drop the 'doting school girl', and look as miserable as she normally does.

( _This included Max puffing out her chest, putting on her 'suck it' face as she tried to look completely disinterested in the Super Soldier specimen that was standing in front of her._ )

Max cleared her throat as Caroline approached, and gave Steve her usual confident smirk. "You make a tempting offer, Captain. I'll keep it in mind."

Her response had Captain America's eyes lighting up, and a grin broke across his face as he knocked on the counter a few times in approval, unable to hide his excitement.

Max threw her head back and laughed at his reaction, "I said coffee, not anal! You have no right to be smiling that hard!"

"I'll take whatever I can get, Miss Black." Steve smiled boyishly, and nodded his head at Caroline in greeting, before turning his attention back to Max. "Next time?"

"Riiiight.." Max said, chest puffed out. She rubbed her rag absently in circles as she tried to seem completely disinterested, because the last thing she wanted was to give Caroline something to tease her with. Steve watched her with amusement in his eyes, and Max finally threw her rag down and retreated into the kitchen, unable to help the triumphant smile that spread across her lips to its own accord a the thought of going on a _date_ with _Steve_.

She busied herself with arranging some pies, and Caroline quickly strutted into the kitchen, tying her apron around her waist. "Max?" Caroline asked in that tone that meant whatever Max was hiding from her, it wouldn't stay a secret for long.

"That's my name," Max replied indifferently, cutting some cherry pie into eight slices. She paused, before adding with a playful smirk, "At least, that's one of them."

Caroline picked up one of the freshly cut pies, "I didn't realize you and Captain America were so close." She asked, suspicious.

Max let out a laugh of denial, waving her hand in the air as she literally tried to brush Caroline's suggestion off. "Oh, please! Can't the _Captain_ of _America_ stop by a normal old diner so he can buy some of the best day old cupcakes in Williamsburg?" She asked, her tone filled with denial. 

The blond shook her head instantly, shutting Max down. "Yeah, okay, Max, whatever it is that the two of you have going on, I _will_ get you to tell me. But right now, I want to talk about myself!"

Max let out a sigh of relief, setting the pies she'd been cutting into slices down. "Oh, thank God. This is one of those rare moments where you being so self involved actually comes in handy!"

Caroline smiled, brushing off the insult with grace that she'd learn after rooming with Max for the past year. "And I'm ignoring that! Alright Max, are you ready for this?"

"Oh, come on!" Max rolled her eyes irritably. "What did I tell you about getting me excited when there's nothing on fire?! That's false advertisement, sister!"

"Lucy Knope," Caroline said slowly, "Just got in touch with me. She said she has a place in Manhattan where we can open up our shop! Max's Homemade Cupcakes will officially be a real business!"

The usually glum waitress dropped the instrument she'd been using for slicing, and looked at Caroline with wide eyes. "No way! Tell me you're joking?!"

"I don't ever joke when it comes to business, _sista_!" Caroline snapped her fingers in a Z motion, causing Max to shake her head in disgust. Caroline faltered, "What? No good?"

"Don't ever say 'sista' again, unless you want to get shot. By me." Max deadpanned, before getting excited again. "No way, no way! So we're gonna have a real shop? This is real? Or is that pill I took during my break finally kicking in?"

"It's real, Max." Caroline said sincerely, placing her hand on her friends arm. The brunette shook her head, her smile on her face but still unwilling to believe something good could actually happen to her.

"No way, there has to be a catch. What's the catch?"

"No catch, Max." Her blond roommate and best friend tried to ease her worries gently. "No catch at all. We just need to meet Lucy at the formally Stark-Now Avenger tower Sunday at 8AM, and she'll run everything by us then."

Max froze, dropping her arms to her sides, repeating in a slow, hard tone. " _Avenger_ tower?"

"That's what she said. Max, isn't this so exciting?!"

"I knew there was a fucking catch!" Max snapped, throwing her rag on the counter angrily before storming out of the kitchen. This was why she never _never **never**_ got her hopes up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys won't believe the ideas I've got for this fic. Bucky, Bruce, Natasha!! Tony and Max's friendship! In Age of Ultron, Steve said something about being a different man then he was before the ice. I'm going to try and see what that means for him and Max in this story. n.n
> 
> Anyways, I have tons of new and better ideas for this fic! I hope people are still interested in it.
> 
> (YES, NATASHA'S DISGUISE IS LUCY FROM LUCY! And I used 'Knope' because I've been watching Parks and Recreation. asgfdghfdjgskldf)


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